almondeye7's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why can't I have MY life? Somedays I wake up and I feel like the best of me is already gone...Why can't I find balence among the beams? I feel like every day I come into work knowing that no matter how hard I work, I'll never be important enough, or earn enough to be happy. I'm always taking two steps forward and one step back...crawling along on my belly like the serpent. I knew it would be hard being a single mother...but Lord God, It shouldn't be this hard. I should be able to get more then 3 or 4 hours of sleep a night, and if I am only getting that each night, shouldn't I earn enough to pay my meager bills on time or order a pizza every now and agian without feeling the pinch? for 4 years I've fought the publice welfare System, And now that I am finely off of it I find that I need that extra helping hand each month. Why? I make good money, I don't go out and buy stupid shit. Why am I having trouble paying for our basic needs? When rent and the gas bill puts you short for food for the week it turns into a twisted pill to swallow. Reality. Cold and callus that it may be. This is my reality. People always ask me "Is being asingle mother hard?" I always say that the hard part is excepting that your life is no longer your own. Ever again. I find that my soul ages quickly now...time is now the enemy...and every thing from the bill hassles to the great and ever unchanging love of my daughter, (what ever would I do without her) it's all part of excepting that my life is part of something bigger than myself. 8:37 a.m. - 2002-05-28 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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