almondeye7's Diaryland Diary
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Moving and Miranda growing up.
Just over a week left in this apartment. It's amazing how much stuff I have! I never relized all the junk and usless shit I have laying around here. Still, I have a hard time deciding what to keep and what to throw out. I should just face it, I'm a hopeless pack-rat. A box full of mail and paperwork dating back to 1993! Coutless old magazines, dishes I've never used, A box of random shit that I know I'll never use but I keep for those "just in case" moments. piles of cloths that I'll never ware again. I have so many fucking cloths in the house! I have baby cloths still from when Miranda was 2! Oh Boy! My apartment now looks like a bomb has hit it. Yes, world war three in my living room...(BOOM)I can't even walk around in here. Most of the stuff I don't want is going to just get thrown out. I've packed 6 boxes of just Books and videos, and pictures. Now the question is what to pack next...I remember when I moved into this apartment. I thought "I'll only be here for a few months" 3 years later I get to leave. I can't belive it's been three years...Miranda was just beginning to talk. I have a height chart that I've marked on the wall, right next to her bedroom door. She's grown so much. Amazing.
I have so much to do over the next 2 weeks. My head is spinning, the move, Miranda starting Kindergarden, (ACK!) My little girl is growing up! When she was a baby, she would wiggle her nose and make a sucking sound with her bottem lip when she was hungrey. She would walk around the house with my shoes on when she was 15 months old. At 3 she ate a whole months supply of my birth control pills- and thew it back up on me. I remember thinking "Thank God" Last year she learned to roller skate, she fell down and said "I can do it!" There are so many things I want to hold inside me about what she was like growing up. I smile and cry to myself when I think about how little she once was. The moment the doctor put her in my arms, I knew she was mine. I loved the way she smelt. I loved the color and pinkness of her skin. Miranda had perfect pink skin from the moment she was born. She always had the brightest, Biggest eyes I've ever seen on a baby. She was always beautiful. She was always smart and she took her first step at 10 months. At a year she learned how to open doors, climb out of her crib and zoom up stairs, climb over the furniture, and the baby gates I had set up. Now she's going to kindergarden. I just know I'll cry on the first day when I drop her off. After all, she's not a baby anymore, and soon my little girl won't be so little anymore. How I cherish those quite moments in the first weeks of her life. Someday, I'll have another baby, and thats good. But for now, I would give anything to nurse her again, to rock her to sleep, to cradle her in my arms and smell her soft baby skin. I'd like to count her fingers and toes again, when they were to small even to trim her nails. I'd like to go back to the day she first uttered "Mommy" My heart burst! Now all I ever hear is mom...mom....mom...mom...mom...followed by the ever so amusing "why" questions...Her most recent- "Mom, why when I yawn or talk about yawning other people yawn too?" I was at a complete loss. When I said "I didn't know she asked me "why not" go figer. All and All I think I'm a good Mom, but I don't think I'm like my own mother. I know I'm much more assertive than she. Still I have a long way in filling her shoes. So why DO people yawn when someone else dose It's tripping me out that I don't know.
**ANGELA**
4:35 p.m. - Friday, Aug. 16, 2002
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