almondeye7's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- So Bored Can't seem to get into "work mode" today, I haven't been able to reach anyone today anyway. I thinking about just.... -Shutting down- for the rest of the day..Get high..... Cook dinner....Take a hot shower and relax. Some days no matter what i do, no matter how gret the promise of a paid day sounds...Sometimes I can't deal with the day. Like today. Shannon.(my boss) tells me that my notes arent good enough. She's a real tough lady. I mean I want to do good for her and the magazine, but she really needs to lay off of me. let me get through this learning curve. It's like she keeps throwing more shit at me too fast. Maybe she thinks I'm superwoman. Well, I'm not and right now stress has had it's run with all of us. Miranda is getting a little better. This past week she has really been a good girl and following the house rules and behaving here at home, but she still is having a hard time with school. Chris got an offer to buy this house. I don't know how I feel about that. either he buys or we all move. I do know that he wants me to come with him wherever he mite go if he leaves. *Smile* I know he has alot to think about. He told me last night that sometimes I stress him out way too much. He should try living with himself! (He He) No one here is a bag of berries. He said that he dosn't know if he's ready for all of this. But I think he is. And so dose he if he stops to think about it. Chris is stronger than he's willing to admit. Even to himself. I'm stonger than I thought I could ever have been. I told Chris that sometimes life is messy. Sometimes I need to cry. Sometimes I need to vent. Sometimes I need to scream. Not at him, but I need him to be at my side screaming with me about the wrongs done to us. I say "us" because I feel that when one person in a relationship is faceing a major problem, The other person should try very hard to see that person's point of view and stand by them no matter what. I aslo relize that not everyone has the same "major" problems. What may be highstakes for me may not be a big deal to someone else. I want people to HEAR me. I want answers to stupid questions like; Why is there money anyway? Why can't we all share our goods in a strife for world peace? I want answers to the real questions like; Why do the people of our goverment allow our schools to turn into a free for all? Why is the system so Unfair and red taped? What are they hidding? Among other things: another spiecies (witch I am certain the government knows about and has under thier control) growing up Miltary I know that the government hides so much from thier people. Even the president know nothing. Back in the wake of the 1950's hydrogyn bom people were having nightmares about "little green men" Popping up in the local cafe and telling some half wit that the world will end in 2 hours. And so forth. In 1958 A radio station brodcasted an ammusing little tidbit about aliens ncomming down to earth and blowing it up. The people belived it. It created panic. It created excitment. It created wonderment. It created confustion. I like that sort of shit. ~~~~Angela~~~ 1:01 p.m. - Thursday, Oct. 03, 2002 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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