almondeye7's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- *Will Work For a Buck* The longer I sit at home unempolyed the crazier I feel. I can't just sit home like this. Nothing to do. I'm sick of playing the waiting game. Waiting...waiting to see who will hire me. All I can think about is going back to school. Dad said that after they get a little more money then they would help me out with the cost of living expences so that I can work part time while going to school. Hopefully I can do that before the end of the year. Then finely I can say that I'm really doing something with my life. I feel so useless. So stupid. So broke. Me and my $37 dollers I have left out of a $3,650 tax return. It's not all bad. In fact half of that money is going for something I've wanted to do for a long time. Something awsome. I'm taking Miranda and Chris on a trip to Disneyland on Easter weekend. God! I can't wait! It's going to be hella fun! I can't wait to see the look on Miranda's face when we show up there. It's going to be quite a surprise. The other half is going to pay for bills. And I also got some spring cloths for Miranda. All and all I guess I did good things with my money. But like I said the fact that I'm unemployed and that money is tight all around is really getting to me. Even my parents are stressing and straped for cash, everyone I know is struggling. Thats Okay I have a couple of things pending and I already got hired part time company in Richmond but I can't start for a week or so. And I have an interview tomorrow for a church admin so it isn't like I don't have things on the back burnner but it's just the fact that I feel so dumb sitting here playing the waiting game. Chris and I are communicating better now. I think we have gotten to the point where we see the mistakes that we were making and now fixing those problems no matter how small is very important to us. Thats good. Yesterday we talked about money without screaming at each other. Thats the first time that's happed in a while. I've made it a point to really take notice of all the little things that he dose for Miranda and me. He is such a sweetheart, and sometimes I forget that and get lazy and take advantage of him because he's there. Well, I'm not doing that anymore. I keep remembering how hard it was to find him. And I take my time and look deep into him. I ask myself. What is he feeling? How can I make him smile? What can I do to make each moment count? I can't picture myself with any other man. I don't want to. I already have the best. Even now after all this time has passed I still feel like we were ment to be together. I was supposed to fall in love with this beautiful loving man. And now BEING in love and STAYING in love is alot of hard work but it's worth it. I know that whatever happens I am loved. And that feels good. 10:00 a.m. - Wednesday, Apr. 09, 2003 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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