almondeye7's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 9/11 poem/ and little about Andy In Honer of the those lost in 9/11 and for those fighting in Iraq here is a poem. Two thousand one, nine eleven Three thousand plus arrive in heaven As they pass through the gate, Thousands more appear in wait A bearded man with stovepipe hat Steps forward saying, "Lets sit, lets chat" They settle down in seats of clouds A man named Martin shouts out proud "I have a dream!" and once he did The Newcomer said, "Your dream still lives." Groups of soldiers in blue and gray Others in khaki, and green then say "We're from Bull Run, Yorktown, the Maine" The Newcomer said, "You died not in vain." From a man on sticks one could hear "The only thing we have to fear. The Newcomer said, "We know the rest, trust us sir, we've passed that test." "Courage doesn't hide in caves You can't bury freedom, in a grave," The Newcomers had heard this voice before A distinct Yankees twang from Hyannisport shores A silence fell within the mist Somehow the Newcomer knew that this Meant time had come for her to say What was in the hearts of the five thousand plus that day "Back on Earth, we wrote reports, Watched our children play in sports Worked our gardens, sang our songs Went to church and clipped coupons We smiled, we laughed, we cried, we fought Unlike you, great we're not" The tall man in the stovepipe hat Stood and said, "Don't talk like that! Look at your country, look and see You died for freedom, just like me" Then, before them all appeared a scene Of rubbled streets and twisted beams Death, destruction, smoke and dust And people working just 'cause they must Hauling ash, lifting stones, Knee deep in hell, but not alone "Look! Blackman, Whiteman, Brownman, Yellowman Side by side helping their fellow man!" So said Martin, as he watched the scene "Even from nightmares, can be born a dream." Down below three firemen raised The colors high into ashen haze The soldiers above had seen it before On Iwo Jima back in '44 The man on sticks studied everything closely Then shared his perceptions on what he saw mostly "I see pain, I see tears, I see sorrow -- but I don't see fear." "You left behind husbands and wives Daughters and sons and so many lives are suffering now because of this wrong But look very closely. You're not really gone. All of those people, even those who've never met you All of their lives, they'll never forget you Don't you see what has happened? Don't you see what you've done? You've brought them together, together as one. With that the man in the stovepipe hat said "Take my hand," and from there he led three thousand plus heroes, Newcomers to heaven On this day, two thousand one, nine eleven ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ So Here is a little update...Although so much has happened in the last week or so. I met someone. And he is quite unexpected. He is a sweet, honest, beautiful and true Andy has come into my life..just when I needed someone honest and true, just when I needed to belive in magic again, and just when I needed to feel safe. I cant expaine it.. I feel like I've known him alot longer then I have...He spent the night with me last night and we never ran out of something to talk about or to share. I get the feeling that he wants to help me achive my goals in life...That he wants to see me do well, that he is rooting for me. He makes me happy. Happier then I've been in quite a while...and he's here. He's NOT on the other side of the world like Jerry was. and so he's not a ghost. Sometimes I have to torcher myself with the "why me, Why me," pitty thing and try for something quite impossible. Before giving in to something real and true. Why do I do that sometimes? One may never know. So Andy is here and and Andy is real. And he's not perfect and he dose not claim to be..In fact he and I are both kind of broken right now. He has things going on in his life right now... that while, I can understand and I can deal with, the situation is new and diffent to me. Andy has a baby on the way, the gal that he got prego is a friend of his. and he is bound and determained to be a big part of the kids life. I really think this is awsome. Although it feels wierd to know that he has a new baby on the way. Him and the other gal just didnt work out and were two very diffent people I guess. It's something that he has been up front with me about, and I am thankful for that. And after thinking on it for the last few days I relized that any man who gets involed with me will have to accept Miranda. And she's already here, and she has emotional baggage too. So I guess what I'm feeling is the oppisit end of the shoe. Honstely the thought of Andy having a baby with someone else is wierd. I mean I dont love Andy... But he's nice and sweet and seems to fit me and if things keep going the way that they are.. I'm sure I'm not that much of when I say that he could fall in love with me and I could fall in love with him So I guess what I'm saying is it's this wierd feeling of..If I do fall in love with him how do I feel about him having some one else's baby? And thats when It dawned on me that this must be how the men in my life had to deal with thier feeling's on my daughter. I now have learned something from this. I want to thank each and every man who has ever loved me and my daughter. Thank you, for having that kind of strength, Thank you for being a man. And now I will be a women, and if Andy and I work out and ( I hope they do...) then I want to be part of this childs life too. After all, a child can never have too much love, And Andy is a true man, willing to stand up and take part in this childs life, I asked him how he felt about Miranda, He said, "Now thats a silly question" He said that he wants a relationship with her too. "Even if it takes a long time..All I have is time" And he chuckled. Now, I understand. Now I do. It takes a overwelming strength and a deep caring and respect for someone, to accept someone elses child into your own life. I know it sounds selfish, but I've never thought of it that way, I think that this experience may even be good for me, I welcome it. There are so many beautiful things about Andy, More to come later...I cant wait to learn more about this man...He's still such a mystery...And yet, I know that I can put the puzzle together, a little at a time, because I already know that he will never hide from me, thats so refreshing and exciting. Till next time, Angela 9:18 p.m. - Sunday, Sept. 12, 2004 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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