almondeye7's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- updates and part of my story. wow. Sitting here staring at this little box again....Honestly I was a little shocked about how long it's been since I've updated...Well, no point in going backwards...when I'm old and grey I guess I can fill these holes of time with whatever I choose. I tell David that a true writer dose this, I just cant write. Sometimes even if things are good in my life or inspiring someone with this gift (the writers edge) Well it's just locked inside ready to spill out at the right moment, when there is so much inside of me ready to jump out and grab someone. I've put a few things down on paper ...written within the past week or so....then I'll try to update...but updateing is not whats important...I've learned that with this diary it's neverending and the gaps in time are less important than the words that tell my story...So it continues......
Sometimes...When I think about it, I don't think he'll ever know... Fault. OR WRONG. But, now, I know that if it wasnt for him, I wouldn't have made it this far. He changed me. He changed the rairoad track...the caurse of what has been. Suppose we had stayed together. Suppose we had made it. Miranda wouldnt have been Miranda- and I wouldnt have been me. I would have left him by now. then it would have been a mess, she would have known him-and lost him. then she mite have turned into one of those bitter snot nosed brats who belived they were "entitled" because someone "left them" So I'm glad maybe in a way that things are the way the are with him. But I'm going to make it right. He's going to pay what he owes her. I'll see to it that it happens... Here's a gripe: Why the FUCK dose this contry allow deadbeat Dad's (and Mom's) to walk around free of responsiblity? This is insane! I mean I don't have any money to get an attorney, I shouldnt have to hire one. The state should have been going after him and it shouldnt be so FUCKING red taped and hard for people. This truly is not fair and it never has been. I mean hell, when a man can just walk away from his flesh and blood and then hide from the system to avoid paying child support something is wrong. To this day, my ex husband has paid about 1200 bucks... 9 years, that's how much she's worth to him. That Bastard! But thats okay, I'm hell bent on making it even and right. If I need to hire some bitch attorney then thats what I need to do! look out, look out where ever you are, my darling ex bastard of a husband, Here comes a very pissed off little redhead and she's going to hang you.... Angela 1:16 p.m. - Sunday, Jul. 31, 2005 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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